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Potty Training Woes - Part II : Some Tips to Get Them to Go

As I stated in a previous post, my son and I have been working on potty training for quite some time. We bought his first potty chair when he was fifteen months old, and still today at nearly four (he’s 3 and 9 months) it’s just not a skill he’s mastered.

We’ve tried it all – the traditional take the potty everywhere approach, and then on to more creative ways (bribery, threats, begging) when desperate times called for desperate measures. Here’s a few of the ideas that I was sure would work. I still think they can, even though they didn’t for Jaden.

  • 1. Potty Timer – This is my most recent idea. After putting Jaden in the big boy pants (BBPs), I would find that he wouldn’t tell me when he had to go and I would often get busy and forget. So I bought a kitchen timer, dubbed it the “Pee Pee Timer” and set it for half an hour. Something about an alarm seemed to work – whether it was simply that he couldn’t negotiate with an alarm, or the timer has more authority than I do, I really don’t care. It did work for a few days, and probably would have if we just didn’t lapse into not setting the timer (“we” being me).
  • 2. Rewards – This one seemed so promising, and I owe the idea to another mom friend of mine whose son this idea did work for (Thanks Lynette!). Each day Jaden was successful in at least trying to use the toilet he was given a small reward (a pack of stickers). I also purchased a larger toy, one that he really wanted and put it up on a high shelf, making a big deal of how he would get it if only he would just use the potty for x days (in our case x = 7). Again, I’m not sure why this didn’t work, because I had hoped it would create a habit with incentive.
  • 3. Give it Up for Awhile – Sometimes putting the BBPs away is the only way it’s going to work. I did this whenever I began to feel the potty training was just becoming a power struggle. I think though there must be a line somewhere (a very grey one), between agreeing to shelve the training idea in favour of going back to diapers for awhile. In reading all the parenting books, this is what I felt was recommended, and that it’ll all happen in due course. But this maybe is a lackadaisical approach, and why we’re still struggling with the concept at the age of nearly-four.
  • 4. Just put on the BBPs – And let the chips fall where they may. At first this was my least favourite option. I didn’t want Jaden to be embarrassed if he should have an accident out in public. Of course I never make it a big deal at home, but the thought of having an accident in a store makes me cringe for his young sensibilities. Now, this was my last resort and we’re currently using this method: I have to say, it’s the most successful – we’re almost there! Accidents have happened, but we just clean them up (again we = me) and move on. And while we’re out, he seems more inclined to let me know when he has to go, so we haven’t had a public mishap yet.
  • 5. Phone call from Diego – This is not my idea, in fact I first heard it on Dr. Phil. Basically encourage your child to go and when successful let him/her call their favourite character to tell them the good news. This character is played by a distant family member or friend. It’s supposed to work wonders, and I think it’s such a neat idea, it had to work. When I sought wisdom from the elders (my parents), they advised similarly – and suggested letting Jaden call his Papa and Nana. Apparently this trick has been around the block a few times.

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