Well, the day has come - I’ve stopped breastfeeding my son.  I feel a horrible sense of guilt and grief at the loss of this special time we shared.

I never had a full supply,and though I know breast is best it was becoming increasingly difficult to convince Lucas of this.  Something about it being much easier to get his milk out of a bottle.  And yes, I tried everything - pumping, fenugreek, Reglan (and with my first son, Blessed Thistle and Domperidone, a supplemental nursing system instead of introducing the bottle).  I just don’t seem to be able to make enough.  It’s very hard when your body doesn’t cooperate with your plans.

The few times I have been out during feeding times I have actually felt guilt about giving him a bottle.   I even think I had a few evil glares from fellow mothers out there (they didn’t know that prior to the feeding I ran out to the car to nurse Lucas before coming back in for the bottle).  Of course, that could be me projecting my guilt.

The thing is, I believe truly the decision to breastfeed or not is a personal one.  I know there are people out there that would judge me and women like me harshly for making this decision, but the reality is they’re not living our lives.  Yes, it might be best for baby, but there’s also a whole family to consider, including the baby.

On the plus side, since with both of my sons I tried so many things to make breastfeeding work I could have a promising career as a lactation consultant.