International Be Kind to Yourself Month - the First Annual
My first official act, as a newly (albeit self-) appointed Power is to declare April to be International Be Kind to Yourself month. In preparation for this event, I am asking all willing participants to create a list of what they will be doing for themselves this month. Below see the beginnings of my list for some ideas. Your acts need not cost a lot of money, nor take a great deal of time (unless that’s what you want and can afford!), but they do have to be things you want for yourself. Then each day in April begin crossing off your list!
In all seriousness, I know I for one do not carve out any time or serious funds for myself (other than a weekly latte with my son) and that’s just not acceptable. We all need a bit of time to cultivate our own interests - otherwise we risk getting lost in the mire of dirty diapers, dirty dishes and become tired and haggard housewives with no outside interests. Individuality as a stay at home parent can be something lost in the shuffle of day-to-day life. This is a chance for us to prevent (or reverse) that, hopefully leading to more productive, fulfilling days and a happier overall spirit. Which we all know in turn will lead to a happier, calmer household. Interestingly enough, I read recently someone’s opinion on how people carve out too much time for themselves at the expense of their families. On the one hand, I get what they’re saying (and I’m sorry I don’t remember where I read this) because as a society we are often very “me-centric”. On the other hand, as a stay-at-home mom, I think I more sacrifice time with myself and family for the daily grind. Personally I’m willing to let go of some of the daily grind (read: dishes, laundry, humdrum housecleaning) for some extra personal and family time. I do agree though that in addition to the time we spend for ourselves, we should also be carving out time to be good to our families - if April goes well, perhaps May will be International Random Acts of Kindness Month. One step at a time though folks.
Alright so here’s a few things I’d like to do:
1. Finish a novel! I don’t care which one, but as an avid reader, I’d like to finish one whole book this month (where I used to read two a week…).
2. Write a short story. I don’t care if it’s good, I just want to write one.
3. Buy myself a new pair of shorts and top for summer. My husband and I each got a budget for self-spending. While his budget is spent, I am stalled out at one top in case we ever get to go out for dinner again….so yeah, I’d like to get myself self something new and purdy, maybe even *gasp* girly!
4. Take some time to do some drawing. I used to love to draw, but haven’t done anything really in four years.
5. Go to a movie with a friend or on my own on a weekend afternoon. My activities are relegated to nap or post-bedtime - not because my husband can’t handle it (because he is very good with our children), but because we’re just busy as a family at this time. While this maximizes family time, it cuts down on daddy bonding time and mommy escape time to rejuvenate.
6. Sit on my deck with a glass of wine or cup of tea for an hour to read or just enjoy the scenery.
7. A nice bubble bath, complete with bubbles, candles and a glass of wine.
8. Go on a shopping expedition by myself. Can be for the aforementioned outfit, but ideally to pick out some pretty things for our house like picture frames, or maybe even to scope out the fishing gear I want to get to take my son out fishing this summer.
9. Sign up for that violin lesson I wanted to take. I bought a violin a year ago and wanted a few lessons to get me started, but never did find any time or budget to do that.
10. Stop feeling guilty about wanting and needing time for myself. Use this month to start a healthy habit of making some time to do my things. Because really it can be as simple as turning off the TV.
And I think that’s a good start.
March 21st, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Oh my!
I have been wanting to respond to this post after I first read it, but I’m scared - that whole ‘taking-care-of-myself’ thang has become so alien since becoming a mother.
I’m with you on May - Random Acts of Kindness month, that is very easy, but my goodness, be kind to mySELF? wow - what a lot of stuff that is bringing up!
I do take an hour for myself each day, each afternoon when my daughter goes for ‘quiet time’ in her troom, but I have to confess to not feeling truly nourished by that time for some reason. I think it’s because I just spend that time thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done, you know? (Or wondering what on earth she is up to!)
Thanks for providing such food for thought; I might just try and come up with a list myself; I’m so impressed that you managed to find 10 things - go you!
Do let me know how you get on and how you feel when you are doing these random acts of kindness for yourself………..
xxxx
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:16 am
I too try to take a bit of time each day when my son is in his room for “quiet time” but I’m with you - it’s not really rejuvenating. Not only do I end up getting stuff done instead, I also feel as though it’s not really unwinding time because he might need me at any minute. There’s no starting a project (some days even picking up a book is impossible!).
A list of ten things was really hard to come up with. In fact, I originally wanted 30 small things, one for each day of the month, but this was all I could think of. And that’s a bit sad because really I have a wide variety of interests. But small steps are important, too. And the biggest step I think will be letting go of the guilt at needing these things.
I feel as though many of my items can be achieved in under half an hour a day. That’s skipping out on TV (and stop being such a dead head couch potato) and picking up a book or pencil instead.
Thanks again for your great comments and have a wonderful weekend!
Melissa
April 1st, 2008 at 8:17 am
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