On the Importance of Letting Go
1. Lucas decided yesterday was a great day to have a growth spurt. He fed 3 times in five hours - and since I have to supplement formula and breastfeed, feedings take about 45 minutes to an hour. You do the math.
2. In between feeding Lucas, I cleaned bottles and made formula for the day.
3. I cleaned my kitchen - dishes into dishwasher, cleaned the fridge, counters etc.
4. Cleaned the cat litter.
5. Laundry - three loads washed, dried, and folded.
6. Played with Jaden - we read and did puzzles in between all the work. Truthfully, I did not spend nearly the time with Jaden that I wanted to because I felt so overwhelmed with all the work I was doing.
7. My house has become cluttered so I started putting things away. Then I realized I had no room for all of Jaden’s new puzzles and therefore felt an urgent need to find room. I emptied out bins and rearranged a cupboard, moving magazines and coloring books into new bins to free up cupboard space for all the puzzles.
At the end of the morning, what was I left with? An aching back, an older son who felt like I was too busy to play with him, a tremendous feeling of guilt at not playing with Jaden as much as I wanted to, and a sense of not getting it all done - and still a gazillion things left to do. Once I sat for a moment, I realized it simply was not worth it. All that work will still be there later, and the more I was doing, the more I felt like needed to get done.
So guess what I did in the afternoon? I made supper, did crafts, played with Jaden and taught Jaden how to play with Lucas. That was it and all. And my afternoon was wonderful! Things need to get done certainly, but there’s a balance to be had. It’s so easy to get caught up in what needs to be done we lose sight of what’s important, and not only that if we’re not careful enough we can sacrifice our happiness and that of our family for a clean living space.
This morning I thought out what would be best to accomplish today and then pared it by half. The day is half done and I don’t have even that nearly done and I must admit it’s difficult not to feel stressed out because I can’t get it all done. I’m wondering, is this my personality or is it that we are taught growing up and living in today’s society that we feel as though we have to fill our days with work?




March 20th, 2008 at 9:03 am
What a beautiful and moving post. I love your epiphany moment! I have so many thoughts rushing through my head that there is no way I can get them all down here……..
But thank you for putting things into words. I think there are so many factors to take into consideration.
Like you say, we are part of a society that deems we need to fill our days with ‘work’ in order to achieve something and therefore feel satisfied.
Then there is the whole ‘undervaluing’ of the mother and wife role; which is a tough call for any homemaker.
Add to that our own issues of self esteem (or lack thereof) and our committee of inner critics that are never satisfied and I guess you have the recipe outlined in your post.
But you know what? Feeding your child and giving quality time to our families IS enough.
YOU are enough. (stand infront of a mirror, smile at yourself and say ‘I AM ENOUGH’ at least ten times today LOL!)
I could really resonate with so many of your thoughts and I am sending you ‘great day!’ vibes for the rest of today!
MrsGreen x
March 20th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Thank you so much for such a beautiful comment. This makes me feel as though all my efforts blogging are worth it, feeling as though it’s making a difference in someone else’s life. This at a time I needed it most, so Thank You!
You’ve really hit the nail on the head on how I’ve been feeling lately about life as a stay at home mom. We are so undervalued in our society, and yet our role is the most important (after all, we’re raising the next generation!). And really, what does it matter what other people think of us as long as we feel our own value and see how us being at home is positively impacting our children? And then again, it’s nearly impossible not to feel that undercurrent of “Oh, you just stay at home”, no matter how hard we try to ignore it.
Cheers and a Great Day to You!