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Do we Impose Too Many Rules on Our Children?

Yesterday I was reading a news article in the Buffalo news that talked about the decrease in unstructured play time during school (ie recess).  School has become so highly academic - even in grade school - that children are not being given sufficient time to play.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of a good, solid education, but play is also an important means for children to learn about their world and their place in it: in many ways play is equally as important as math or reading.   There is a definite need for children to play on their own, and learn how to forge their own relationships without adult interference.  Children can’t always get this at home, no matter how well-intentioned their parents: though I know Jaden needs to play without my yammering at him, as a parent it is difficult for me to take my child to a park and watch him not playing fair (or other children not playing fair for that matter) and not interfere.  It’s my job to teach my son how to play, but in doing so am I imposing too many rules and not allowing him enough room to figure things out on his own?  Especially in a world where he can’t even have this kind of play at recess in school.

Society today pushes the importance of a good strong education, but rather than adding quality we seem to be adding quantity (more homework, more school days, longer school days and less recess).  In my opinion this is incredibly unfair and unnatural.  As a mother to two sons, I know this is not necessarily the best environment for boys to learn.  They have oodles of energy and need an outlet to release their steam in order to be capable of behaving in a sit-down-and-listen environment.  Not only that, but in pushing our children to learn more and faster, are we creating too much stress in their lives?  They are not miniature adults, they are children who need play and the freedom to explore their own worlds.

So really, as parents I think we expect good behaviour from our children far too often.  Children don’t need to scream in the grocery store, and they should learn good table manners.  They also need freedom from rules to learn on their own the way our world works.  Children need an environment of play where they are supervised without being guarded.  They need their secret giggles and even the odd playground fight to learn how to get along.  If we are always stepping in, when will they learn to do this on their own?

Children also need the freedom to be children, without hours of homework every night.  They need to run around like hooligans in a playground so they can strengthen their bodies, and a good sound education to strengthen their minds.  I believe in trying to do the best for our children, we have created an imbalance.  Children still need play, even if we take away all forums for them to do so  to a point that we equate rambuncious behaviour in inappropriate places with an ill-behaved child.  The reality is that we have created a world where being rowdy is inappropriate everywhere.

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