Last week I was faced with a very difficult decision - the choice between personal goals and family needs. It’s a tough reality that our life is filled with these kind of choices and sacrifices - not because of our children, but I think because of the society in which we live.  The kind of society that undervalues the family and puts too much emphasis on the bottom line instead of individual needs.  I think these kind of workplaces are missing out on some of the best employees.

I would love to work part time - to get out of the house a bit but still maintain a strong foothold in the home. I want to be the caregiver and teacher for my children, but also enjoy some adult conversation and activity.  Yes, I think I should be able to have my cake and eat it too.

I had to work full time when my first son was only 15 months, and I know that is not where I want to be again if I have the choice -which at the moment I’m blessed to have.  I realized quite early on that my daycare provider was the person who saw my son the most (and therefore had the most influence over him).  This is not why I chose to have children, and I certainly do not want to miss out on their early years.

Keeping in mind my desire to work, but also staying in the home, I’ve been keeping an eye out for part-time chemist positions.  I would go to work for a coffee shop or bookstore, but my time at home is  simply more valuable than 8 dollars an hour.  My presence here with my husband and children is worth more than minimum wage.  Also, I have a degree that I worked hard to earn, and having worked as an environmental chemist I don’t want to lose touch with my field.  On a whim I applied for the dream job for me - an office job in my field.  The only catch was that I knew this job was going to be full time. I thought I would have a few days to mull the idea over and talk with my husband about his thoughts.  Within an hour I had a phone call for an interview. I explained my situation and said that to even consider full time work I would need a considerable salary. They said no problem to my salary request - in my field, they never agree to this kind of salary.  This job sounded really good.

I’m going to be honest - I wanted to go on the interview and consider the job. I’m really struggling some days to find meaning behind the laundry, dusting and diaper changes. Also I’ve been very isolated these last few months and my husband has barely been home since our son was born due to working a lot of overtime.  And finally, I want to work because on one income I have to make a lot of sacrifices, and sometimes as selfish as it sounds, that’s very hard to do.

I ended up calling back and saying no after all, that I really just wanted something part time. The gentleman on the other end was unsympathetic at best and so I don’t think I’ll ever have a chance with that company again… I keep telling myself it’s just not a company I want to work for anyway.

I know that if I am just patient and wait it out a bit, something that is exactly what I want will come along.  I’m just sad that our society doesn’t often make concessions for people with families, and help them to stay in the workplace during these early years when our families need us so much.  Ideas such as job sharing or part time work are only that - ideas.  Why can’t companies try them out?  Like many of us in the same position, I know I’m good at what I do, and deserve to work on my own terms.