Today I have a dark rain cloud over my head and frankly feel just miserable.  I just want to go on vacation - alone. :)  In the last few weeks I’ve been feeling as though I am constantly being treated as a stay at home mom and frankly it’s pissing me off. Of course, there’s the small fault in my logic that I am a stay at home mom.  That does not mean I have to be treated as though I am, however.  The weight of all things domestic falls upon my shoulders, and in asking hubby for help I usually end up having to do things on my own anyway (case in point, the summer windows that I’ve been asking him to put on for two months I finally did myself yesterday).  Though I try to explain how this makes me feel - like somehow he feels these things to be solely my responsibility and how overwhelming and daunting and tedious it can all be - I haven’t noticed a change in his behaviour.   Therefore, it must mean I need a change in my behaviour, or maybe in how I view myself.  For today though, I feel as though no matter what I do the end result would be the same - example: either I continue to pester and see the windows not be put on, have myself and children suffer while hubby is away at work because we can’t open windows, pay a fortune we can’t afford in air conditioning OR just do it myself in the end.  Which leads me to wonder if I should ask in the first place since it leads to nothing but frustration when I do?

It’s not only my spouse however, it’s just a general feeling I get in talking with people who work and with family that visit.  Somehow since I’m home with children all day, it’s okay for me to have an increased workload or take care of more children?

I think that staying at home with children is really tough - we are isolated and have often tedious, thankless jobs to perform day in and day out.  Yes, our children bring us great joy overall, but changing a dozen messy diapers or putting a child in multiple time-outs all the while trying to get errands done and meals prepared is not all it’s cracked up to be, is it?  These feelings are magnified when we feel as though those around us treat us differently because we don’t don office clothes and go out and earn money every day.

I don’t expect my partner to come home and immediately begin work at home - though when I was a working mother this is precisely what I would do (perhaps that’s a different post).  I feel though there is a balance to be had in terms of each partner getting some free time and in divving up the chores around the house.  Maybe the line should be 80 percent me since I am at home, but “someone” needs to step up for the other 20 percent because it’s just not realistic that the responsibility fall upon the stay at home partner to do all the childcare and all the homecare, billcare, pet care, life care etc.