Dear Susan **:
Today you called me with a lot of questions about epidurals (the shot you get so you don’t feel anything “down there”, as you so aptly put it), sleeping through the night, and at what age we put our children into their own rooms. This can only mean one thing: you and your husband have had “the talk”, made a decision, and reality is setting in. I know you’re going to be looking for advice, and once you have a few things figured out, you’ll start hearing all sorts of advice you never asked for. That’s just the way it is sometimes.
First of all, let’s take a moment to discuss that. As soon as you reveal to the world that you are pregnant, your body will never be your own again. Not ever. As in never. I’m sure you somewhat expect this after the baby is born, what with breast feeding and carrying a child around nearly 24/7. What you might not expect though is that rubbing your belly for luck will become the favorite pastime of all those around you. You’ll get used to this in time.
And if you think you’re having nightmares now, wait until you hear all about Francie’s 36 hour labor, and the emergency C-section Beth had. Yes, everyone becomes an expert on childbirth the minute you’re pregnant. Don’t worry about after the baby comes either, because then, well, we’re all parenting experts too!
Next - your social life. I think it’s wise you’re doing all your traveling now. At risk of sounding like an expert myself, I have to say this decision is very wise. Though there’s nothing quite like seeing the Eiffel Tower with spit up on your shoulder, leaky boobs, and all the while on the emotional roller coaster that is motherhood (though I personally have never been to Paris, I have a vivid imagination combined with my own personal reality). Ahh yes, April in Paris post-baby will definitely take on a whole new meaning.
Your wardrobe - enjoy those cute little skirts and your gorgeous body now. And tell your loving husband to do same. If you’re like most of us, you’re going to enjoy stretch marks, cellulite, and thinning grey hair in a few short months.

Parenting changes everything in the blink of an eye. The most important thing you can remember is that no one can prepare you for what lies ahead. Having a child changes who you are fundamentally, and childbirth is truly one of the most profound experiences you will ever have (at least it is for me, to date). You will undoubtedly read a plethora of books on these subjects and feel prepared and ready. You’re not. And that’s okay. Really. Dismiss everything bad you hear about parenting, don’t think about the pain of childbirth, the post-baby flab, the sleepless nights. Because when you gaze into your baby’s eyes, hold him, and smell just how lovely he smells, none of it matters.

Don’t be scared about the pain, the flab, or the sleepless nights. These are not the things you’re going to remember. You’ll remember the good things only - the look in your husband’s eyes as he held your baby for the first time, the feeling of nursing and nurturing your child (whether or not you decide to breastfeed) while feeling exhausted and the bliss of bringing a happy, healthy baby home. These are the things that matter.

And as far as having baby at home goes - yes it changes everything. You won’t be able to dash out to the store anymore, but you’ll always have (for the next few years anyway) the most awesome snuggler on cold, rainy days. You’ll have a new pair of eyes watching everything you do with wonder - almost as much wonder as you’ll have watching her grow and become her own person.

Susan, sometimes it won’t seem like you’re making the right decision. You’ll probably have a moment or two when you wonder why the hell you just did what you did, and perhaps even wondering about a return policy (after a couple of sleepless months, we all think this). You’ll also have those moments when everything falls into place, and you’ll wish all of these moments could last a lifetime.

Oh, and Susan? You’re going to be a great mom.

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** Of course there is a Susan! Except her real name has been changed to protect her identity because if I were in her place I wouldn’t want the world to know I was crazy enough to think about starting a family!