Is it fashionista or fashion diva? See? I truly am lost. Lately I’ve had this small desire to become a bit more girly. Maybe it’s my lack of things girly in the house (chiefly, I’m the only girl) or maybe because I’m wanting some personal changes in my life or maybe I’ve watched one too many episodes of Lipstick Jungle… I’m not sure the reason but for the first time in my life this tomboy wants to wear (gasp!) makeup and the odd dress. Maybe even paint my nails. These are big steps for a lady who might put on some chapstick for special occasions. But 1) Where do I start? 2) They just don’t make a lot for a gal of my stature.

I decided to take the plunge and get myself a girly outfit - kind of retro, since I’m just that kind of person. I came home with one headband, so today was a trying day to say the least. A gal likes to get out and buy herself something from time to time. Now, despite the fact that I’m 5 10, and not petite, I’m still a gal. Imagine then my dismay at having difficulty in finding things to buy myself.

At this time, clothes can be a little difficult. Having had my son only seven weeks ago, I know I will be losing weight and on a limited budget it’s hard to justify buying clothes I hope will only fit for a short time (even harder to buy them and admit it’s going to take longer than I think to lose the baby weight). Even more difficult is the fact that should I buy myself something nice, I have nowhere to wear it. And even if I had somewhere to wear it I’m at that difficult age of 30 something where you’re just not sure if you can wear those 20’s fashions but you’re not ready for the drab and dreary middle age clothes. And so, I’ll have to stick to the jeans and nondescript t-shirts for another few months. Blah.

Then I thought, well heck, I love shoes as much as the next gal . Shoes can be a wonderful form of self expression in lieu of fun fashion. Just look at those darling Mary Jane’s out there and you’ll see what I mean. Of course, as I’ve mentioned I’m a gal of 5 feet 10 inches with feet to match. My size 11s don’t often find Mary Janes. How depressing! I have some money and I want to spend it – on me(!) for a change and there’s nary a thing to buy.

Redefining your image in your 30s is tough! Why did I lose my personal style in the first place? I’ve been sick and tired of the plain clothes you buy at places like Old Navy forever but I just can’t decide what’s appropriate for me.